


It All Ends Today

by Obsidi4n



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series), Try Guys - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Babies, Bananas, Crack, Dogs, Fluff and Humor, Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Lap sit, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Pure Crack, The Try Guys, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 12:21:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15339783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Obsidi4n/pseuds/Obsidi4n
Summary: The endeavor to convince Eugene to sit on Keith’s lap had been going on for too long. It ends today.[UPDATE: I wrote this when I forgot to take my meds. This is pure crazy. Nothing else.]





	It All Ends Today

**Author's Note:**

> I respect these guys as a small production company and do not want people to think I think they just mess around all day. I respect their hard work, although am slightly bitter at the lack of responding to fans on their dog's Instagrams.

The endeavour to convince Eugene to sit on Keith’s lap had been going on for too long. It ends today.  
The three Try Guys had been planning this for a while, and they knew it was only a matter of time until Eugene came into work in the right state of mind for their plan to be carried out; totally wasted. The pressures of running a company had taken its toll on all of them, and at first, the bizarre plan was just a joke they came up with to pass time. Next thing they knew they had purchased a banana costume, a giant baby mobile and a massive stuffed dog. And I mean really massive.  
They had cut the insides out of the dog (in an only mildly psychopathic way using an axe and an ice cream scoop) and it finally had a Keith-sized hole and a small slit in the back he could wriggle into.  
Finally, the day had come.  
Zach realised the state Eugene was in and used their secret action (because who the hell use code words anymore?) to alert the others; replacing the sugar in the other’s coffee for Cheyenne Pepper. Okay, so maybe the others weren’t part of the decision process for this one or aware of it, but hey at least Zach found it funny.  
Once they had recovered, they sprang into action. Ned set up the giant baby monitor at the front door and used a light and fan to make it cast a shadow over whoever walked in and to keep it turning. Zach wriggled into his banana costume and Keith penetrated the dog through it’s behind (where they had made the slit).  
Eugene sauntered in with his non-spicy but suspiciously alcoholic-smelling coffee, a dazed look in his eyes is the only giveaway. He had plenty of practice pretending not to be drunk at work and was too much of a graceful unicorn to strip or Tumblr. I mean trip or stumble. Of course. However, he didn’t have his wits about him as he normally would. He took a deep breath to prepare himself for another day of work (work that obviously didn’t include updating Pesto’s Instagram more often or replying to fan comments on it of course) and trying to fool his friends into thinking he was sober. He opened the door, and to his shock, there was a giant baby mobile above his head! Surely this was some sort of twisted nightmare? Was a baby present and he hadn’t been alerted do he didn’t even wear his soft clothes? (Or clone himself as he did for meeting Ned’s baby. Because yeah it’s Ned’s baby but the key word here: baby. He’ll probably meet it loads anyway in the future. Hopefully when it’s older. And not dependent on other humans. And maybe contributes to society.) Mortified, he staggers into the next room, this messed up dream couldn’t get any worse, right? Wrong.  
A giant banana launched out of its hiding place, knocking Eugene over with the force. Eugene may hate babies, but he detests bananas. He screamed, scrambling for the door to the next room, sweeping off the contents of Zach’s desk and using the top item of furniture on it to barricade the door. When done, he allowed himself to slide to the floor, panting from exertion. He finally looked up to evaluate the room and realised that his and Keith’s desks had been removed and a giant dog appeared to be there. How did he not see that before? He cautiously got to his feet to investigate. It looked stuffed but…. Was it moving? He shrugged. Whatever, first babies then bananas? This dream couldn’t get weirder. He took his bright cape off his shoulders and snuggled into the soft animal, falling asleep almost immediately. And the other Ned and Zach watched on in their tailored suits while drinking martinis; shaken, not stirred.


End file.
